Journal - Les or Bi

Friends, neighbors, people—

I’m not asking for special treatment. I’m not asking anyone to change what they believe in private. I’m just saying something plain and true: women loving women is not wrong.

It’s not a disease. It’s not a defect. It’s not a moral failure. It’s one of the ways human beings form real, lasting, life-giving bonds.

Think about how attraction actually works for a second. Every single person who falls in love or ends up in a relationship is selective. Out of billions of people on the planet, each of us is only drawn to a small slice—based on sex, age, personality, looks, values, chemistry, a hundred other things. Almost nobody is open to “anyone.” Straight people aren’t open to the same sex. Most people aren’t open to partners way outside their preferred age range, or people they find unattractive, or people whose character they can’t stand. We treat all those preferences as ordinary, private, and fine.

Lesbianism is just another version of that same selectivity: a consistent preference for women instead of men. The structure is identical. If it’s not wrong for a man to prefer women, or a woman to prefer men, and it’s not wrong for someone to prefer tall over short or kind over cruel, then it can’t suddenly be wrong for a woman to prefer other women. The preference itself isn’t the problem. Singling out this one preference and calling it illegitimate is the inconsistency.

People who condemn it almost always exercise the exact same right of selective attraction in their own lives. They don’t experience their own exclusions as “wrong.” They experience them as natural. Applying a different standard only when the preference is same-sex shows the objection was never really about preference or selectivity. It was about enforcing a particular cultural or religious rule about which preferences are allowed.

For most of history, the people who enforced that rule held the power. They wrote the laws, controlled the pulpits, and decided what counted as “natural.” They told women their highest purpose was to serve men, bear children, and stay quiet about their own desires. When a woman loved another woman, they called it unnatural, sinful, or sick—not because it harmed anyone, but because it refused to fit the order they wanted.

We know better now. Medicine took homosexuality off the list of mental illnesses a long time ago. Researchers have found no evidence that same-sex attraction is a disorder. What they have found is variation—ordinary, persistent, human variation. Some women are drawn to men. Some are drawn to women. Some to both. That isn’t a crisis. It’s just how desire works in a complicated species.

Lesbian relationships rest on the same foundations as any healthy partnership: mutual consent, care, honesty, respect. Two women who choose each other don’t injure their neighbors. They don’t weaken the social fabric. They don’t take rights from anyone else. They simply live. And when they live openly, they make a little more room for the rest of us to be honest about who we are.

Some people will say this is against nature. But nature isn’t a narrow script. Same-sex behavior shows up across many species. Nature produces people whose hearts and bodies don’t follow the majority pattern. If “natural” only means what’s most common, then left-handedness, red hair, and genius would all be problems. We don’t treat those variations as moral failings. We shouldn’t treat this one that way either.

Others will appeal to tradition or scripture. Traditions change. Readings of sacred texts have changed on slavery, on the status of women, on divorce, on plenty of things once declared settled forever. A living tradition is one that can grow in compassion. Many people of faith have already made that growth and affirm that love between women is not a barrier to dignity or to the divine. Those who can’t make that growth still have every right to their convictions—but they don’t have the right to impose those convictions on other people’s lives through law or social punishment.

Lesbianism is not wrong because it produces no victims.

It is not wrong because it is fully compatible with every virtue we claim to value: loyalty, courage, tenderness, responsibility.

It is not wrong because the alternative—forcing people to live against their own deepest affections—has produced generations of loneliness, secrecy, and wasted life.

And it is not wrong because selective attraction is the human norm, and this is simply one honest expression of it.

To the young woman who’s afraid of what she feels: you are not broken.

To the older woman who spent decades hiding: you were never wrong for wanting more truth.

To everyone who’s been taught that this love is shameful: the shame was never yours to carry.

We don’t need everyone to celebrate. We only need the world to stop treating ordinary human love as a problem to be solved. Lesbianism is not a threat to the family, to children, or to the future. It’s simply one more way people find home in each other.

That is not wrong.

That is human.

And it is enough.

Thank you.